I really don’t know what to make of Razmus anymore. Or myself, for that matter. Somehow, his errand to the base turned into an unannounced trip to Arizona. I tell myself I don’t care about him anymore, and that this is the last time, yet again. He doesn’t seem to give a shit about me or any of our other teammates (weird, considering it’s not like he has anyone else to turn to in the entire world). And as usual he’s medically incapable of admitting he’s done anything wrong. See, I had grandpa teleport me into his Greyhound bus, and I tried to find out what the fuck he was thinking, and why he felt the need to run away. And naturally, he brushed off the talk of running away, unable to face the situation even verbally. I get that trusting people isn’t always easy, especially when your adolescence was as screwed up as his, but I’m really not clear on why he would think it’s okay to just run off like that without a word. It’s not like we’d be able to force him to stay if he told us he was quitting. I want to smack him so damn hard sometimes, but he can kick my ass and if he did he’d probably convince himself that he was somehow right to do it.
And Swan is suing him, and he’s acting like its some kind of goddamn game. I really hope Glenn knows a good lawyer. One that won’t let Raz talk too much. He really is a teenager; he says otherwise, but he doesn’t understand mortality. He can’t fit into his tiny little mind that everything he has and does and says will eventually be completely gone from the universe. That’s the way things work.
But who am I to talk? I don’t even know what’s going on in my own head anymore. The Victory Brace sort of took away my limited, so I have a hard time not saying every damn thing that pops into my head. At first I was brimming over with confidence, but right now I feel like a class clown who got sent to the principal’s office. Gotta get it together. I explained to Ryo about how I’d become a Rider, and I think the old me would’ve done a better job. He was giving me some weird looks and saying “What about me?” Being a world-renowned soccer player isn’t enough, huh?
Pop quiz time! Which is worse:
(a) Not being able to express emotions.
(b) Not being able to stop yourself from expressing emotions.
(c) Not being able to express emotions unless it’s calculated and fake.
And then Razmus came back. He sent me an email asking for a teleport, and I laughed out loud. I really don’t know what the fuck to do with him, but unless my head gets even more messed up, I’m probably not going to be willing to waste my time trying to talk sense into him — being immune to that must be one of his other superpowers.
I was lucid enough to let my mom pick out my formal wear for dad’s memorial ceremony, so I wound up going in this expensive black kimono. It looked better on me than I expected. The same goes for Jack in a suit. We got through most of the ceremony before bad stuff happened. I started crying during the speeches — especially Glenn’s — and couldn’t stop. I’m starting to realize just how incredible dad really was, as a person and not just some guy in a mask. Those are some damn big shoes to fill.
And then a cargo plane buzzed the Tokyo Dome. Seriously. A bunch of black-suited military guys dropped down, along with Wild Rider. We split up jump into the fray. And I figured out my hero name. (drum roll) Victory Rider! And the sword, the Victory Blade. Wild Rider thought the name was stupid (but at least he was talking), but I kicked his ass in a big way. (Oh, shit, I’m thinking like Raz. Someone shoot me.) That Rider Delta Combination move I came up with was just plain cool, if I do say so myself.
By the time I finished, my teammates had dealt with all of the soldiers (who were actual guys this time and not clones, thank god). And then things got freaky, because I swear to god under the mask Wild Rider looks like an older version of Ryo. A lot. He was fighting a lot better than last time too, like a trained martial artist instead of Captain Punchy.
Raz jumped onto the plane and brought it down from inside, apparently, and the others did some pretty crazy stuff too. I gotta watch the news to see more of that.
And then the media came in. I told them that I’m MegaRider’s daughter, and that since Japan is so well-protected I’ll be in San Francisco, with Dynamo as my mentor. (I saw Glenn shake his head at that, as he usually does when I say something unpleasant yet true). I bowed, and resisted the urge to make a big V-sign with my hands, because it wasn’t that kind of day.
So, we’re a little closer to figuring out what the hell is going on with Wild Rider, which’ll hopefully also give us something to work with for when the time comes to deal with Wash and Pinnacle. My head is screwed up, and I need to go up or down, not this inbetween crap, and I’m thinking I should see someone about it — it could be some brain chemistry thing. And maybe, just maybe, Razmus has some inkling of how good he has it. I am so messed up right now.